oh these moments of weakness
i think they’re amplified by fatigue and the fact that I barely talk to anyone anymore.
i made a pact with myself to trust God. And I do. It’s just that in these moments of weakness, I feel myself faltering. I still trust Him but sometimes I wish I could just know. Know in concrete terms that everything will work out. I feel like Im rambling…I know I’m feeling something, but I can’t articulate it. I wish that someone would just come up to me and go “hey talk. just talk. no excuses.” maybe then I can get what I’m feeling out. Make this heaviness in my chest go away. I don’t know how to articulate what I’m feeling. It’s like this ache. An ache of uncertainty….of feeling lost. Of wishing. And hoping. Of taking a deep breath, reminding myself of the good and the important and of taking another step. Maybe it’s just the fatigue talking. I am exhausted. Still need to shower…find clothes for tmw etc etc etc.
“Verily, Allaah does not change men’s condition unless they change their inner selves.”
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We ask God to forgive us for our evil thoughts, evil temper,
but rarely,if ever, ask Him to forgive us for our sadness.
